The Art of Coming Home

I've been home for 2 weeks now.  It seems like much longer than that!  There have already been different stages that I've gone through in my return:
Stage 1:  Wonderment
As I got off the airplane, I was amazed at the American-ness of everything.  It was a shock to be able to understand and be understood.  (No more horribly broken Portuguese!  I'll miss it, I think)  In the first couple of days back, I marveled at the conveniences that America has built into its fast-paced, super-sized lifestyle.  I realized how different my life really was in the last 5 months; at least in the little things. 
Stage 2: Homesick Ointment
Hugging.  In abundance.  It was so good to hug my mom, to get a backrub from my dad, tease and get teased by my brother (the only one who can affectionately call me "Shorty") and to snuggle with my sister before sleeping in my own bed.  Home cooked meals, cereal, and lattes were indulgently consumed!  Home is so good for the soul, and as the saying goes, there's no place like it!
Stage 3: Hometown Tourist
After 5 months in a different country, you get accustomed to having an outsider's observant eye.  When I got back, I felt like I saw Iowa with a fresh perspective-- almost as if I was a tourist.  I had a new appreciation for the quaint Iowa farm houses, the sparkling winterwonderland, and the quiet beauty that I call home.  Iowa is a lovely place to grow up-- and even though there were few Brazilians who could point out where it is on the map-- I may have convinced a couple of people that they really should come and visit the "heartland" someday!  Even with the 80 degree temperature drop, I am appreciating the place that I find myself right now.
Stage 4:  Broken Record
Now that I've returned, I have similar sounding conversations several times a day.

So, how was Brazil?
Good!  It was an amazing experience.
Cool!  I'll bet it was warmer there.
Yes, it was about 89 degrees when I left.
Wow!  So, why did you come back?

Like good (and predictable) Iowans, the most common question I get is about the weather.  It can be difficult and somewhat overwhelming to try and sum up an experience like Brazil in the context of a small talk conversation.  There are so many things that went into everything that the last 5 months was for me, that I haven't begun to process.  And I never know how much to share.  I've learned that there are few people that ACTUALLY want to know about all the different layers of a travelling experience.  Most people want a reader's digest version-- satisfied with a couple highlights and a weather report.  I knew this would be the case, so I let others lead the conversation.  (I've always had a hard time opening up to people that are only half listening)
There is still so much that I want to process, but I'm not sure how to.  It's something I don't want to force, but I feel that there is so much that still needs to be pondered. 

Stage 5:  Treading Water
There's been a momentum leading me down a somewhat laid-out plan for my life up to this point.  Always a clear next step.  Until now.  I'm back.  And now, what?  Phrases like "real world", "beginning my career" and "graduate" seem unreal and foreign on my tongue.  Yet, this is where I find myself.  Graduating in December gives me a certain amount of time to figure out where I want to go next.  I've had a couple of moments of feeling like Wiley Coyote when he realizes there's no cliff beneath him.  What am I going to do?  Where will I live?  Who will I be with?  When will I know?  There's a certain loneliness that is surfacing that I was anticipating as I got back; caused by multiple factors.  I've been trying to wake up each day and choose to be content with where I am.  Not to focus on what I'm going to be with my life (macro)  but to focus on what I'm called to that day.  Each day, this gets a little harder-- and yet I'm hopeful.  I knew it would be challenging, and the process of readjusting to a new season will take time. 
In a way, it's a very exciting time.  I feel a bit like I'm reinventing my life-- this season is an "incubation period" for forming who I want to be. (Does that make sense?)  Lots of grace, many deep breaths, and an occasional bubble bath are all needed to get through this season of waiting.