The Art of Coming Home

I've been home for 2 weeks now.  It seems like much longer than that!  There have already been different stages that I've gone through in my return:
Stage 1:  Wonderment
As I got off the airplane, I was amazed at the American-ness of everything.  It was a shock to be able to understand and be understood.  (No more horribly broken Portuguese!  I'll miss it, I think)  In the first couple of days back, I marveled at the conveniences that America has built into its fast-paced, super-sized lifestyle.  I realized how different my life really was in the last 5 months; at least in the little things. 
Stage 2: Homesick Ointment
Hugging.  In abundance.  It was so good to hug my mom, to get a backrub from my dad, tease and get teased by my brother (the only one who can affectionately call me "Shorty") and to snuggle with my sister before sleeping in my own bed.  Home cooked meals, cereal, and lattes were indulgently consumed!  Home is so good for the soul, and as the saying goes, there's no place like it!
Stage 3: Hometown Tourist
After 5 months in a different country, you get accustomed to having an outsider's observant eye.  When I got back, I felt like I saw Iowa with a fresh perspective-- almost as if I was a tourist.  I had a new appreciation for the quaint Iowa farm houses, the sparkling winterwonderland, and the quiet beauty that I call home.  Iowa is a lovely place to grow up-- and even though there were few Brazilians who could point out where it is on the map-- I may have convinced a couple of people that they really should come and visit the "heartland" someday!  Even with the 80 degree temperature drop, I am appreciating the place that I find myself right now.
Stage 4:  Broken Record
Now that I've returned, I have similar sounding conversations several times a day.

So, how was Brazil?
Good!  It was an amazing experience.
Cool!  I'll bet it was warmer there.
Yes, it was about 89 degrees when I left.
Wow!  So, why did you come back?

Like good (and predictable) Iowans, the most common question I get is about the weather.  It can be difficult and somewhat overwhelming to try and sum up an experience like Brazil in the context of a small talk conversation.  There are so many things that went into everything that the last 5 months was for me, that I haven't begun to process.  And I never know how much to share.  I've learned that there are few people that ACTUALLY want to know about all the different layers of a travelling experience.  Most people want a reader's digest version-- satisfied with a couple highlights and a weather report.  I knew this would be the case, so I let others lead the conversation.  (I've always had a hard time opening up to people that are only half listening)
There is still so much that I want to process, but I'm not sure how to.  It's something I don't want to force, but I feel that there is so much that still needs to be pondered. 

Stage 5:  Treading Water
There's been a momentum leading me down a somewhat laid-out plan for my life up to this point.  Always a clear next step.  Until now.  I'm back.  And now, what?  Phrases like "real world", "beginning my career" and "graduate" seem unreal and foreign on my tongue.  Yet, this is where I find myself.  Graduating in December gives me a certain amount of time to figure out where I want to go next.  I've had a couple of moments of feeling like Wiley Coyote when he realizes there's no cliff beneath him.  What am I going to do?  Where will I live?  Who will I be with?  When will I know?  There's a certain loneliness that is surfacing that I was anticipating as I got back; caused by multiple factors.  I've been trying to wake up each day and choose to be content with where I am.  Not to focus on what I'm going to be with my life (macro)  but to focus on what I'm called to that day.  Each day, this gets a little harder-- and yet I'm hopeful.  I knew it would be challenging, and the process of readjusting to a new season will take time. 
In a way, it's a very exciting time.  I feel a bit like I'm reinventing my life-- this season is an "incubation period" for forming who I want to be. (Does that make sense?)  Lots of grace, many deep breaths, and an occasional bubble bath are all needed to get through this season of waiting.

Breathing in the Brazilian Air

My good friend Marsha told me before I left for Brazil that this season was going to be one of freedom and release-- that I would come here and just breathe in the Brazilian air, so I could come back and share that with my loved ones here. 
In these last two weeks, I have been trying to do just that.  After finishing up with student teaching, we (Crystal, Jana, Natalia, and I) packed up our backpacks and headed on another Brazilian adventure.  This time we went to the northeast, to the state of Bahia.  I almost can't even adequately describe the depth and breadth of the beauty I beheld.  It left my heart feeling so full that I almost felt anxious-- like I had to strain to take it all in.  But then I remembered Marsha's advice.  I came back to the moment and took deep breaths of the warm Brazilian air.
Our first couple of days were spent in Chapada Diamontina (google it--- the pictures do a better job of describing the beauty than I can).  After a long day of traveling, a long winding dusty path led us to a remote pousada in the middle of... the most beautiful nature I have ever witnessed.  Imagine the Grand Canyon, with giant plateaus all around, covered in lush greenery and exotic plants that look like they're out of a Dr. Seuss book.  We spent three days hiking along these trails, each day very different and yet unspeakably beautiful.  Wide ravines with butterflies soaring throughout.  Swimming at the base of a remote mountain waterfall.  Watching the sunset on the top of a plateau with a 360 view of the Chapada.  It was so refreshing to my spirit to be out in this untouched wilderness.  (I can't wait to share my pictures with you!)
After that, we returned to Salvador, a coastal city with lots of beautiful old buildings.  We toured the city with some friends that we made at the bus station-- Ryan from L.A. and Dan from Australia.  Natalia and Crystal had to part ways shortly after, and Jana and I continued our vacation on the beaches near Salvador!  (We decided this was our "commencement ceremony"!!!!  Congratulations on graduating!  Let's swim in the ocean and lay on the beach!!)  We went to several beaches, and even spent a couple days on this quaint island called Morro de Sao Paulo (By the way, I think I want to repeat this vacation for my honeymoon!  It was that perfect!) The beaches were gorgeous, the weather was perfect, and the people we met along the way were very memorable.  As we were navagating through this state with very limited knowledge of the place or the language, we were continually blessed by goodhearted strangers who lent a hand when we needed it. I continue to be blessed and amazed by the generous hearted people of Brazil and their hospitality! 
I have officially hit the **Transition Stage**.  Getting back to Brasilia, I definitely felt mixed emotions.  Part of me is very much ready to come home-- to see all my loved ones, to hug my mom and dad, cuddle with my sister, and play nintendo with my brother :) But on the other hand, I am realizing how much I'll miss all of this-- the amazing experiences I've had, the beautiful people I've met: the students, my friends, the grocery store workers...  I haven't been able to fully grasp what this experience has been, nor do I think I'm capable of doing so... I will be processing it in the months to come.  I need to have patience, give myself room to laugh, cry, grieve the season passing, and look forward to what is in store (which is a whole other ball of wax on my "To think about" list!!! But that's another story for another blog). 
For now, I'll keep picking away at the packing that needs to happen, eat my daily acai, and joyously celebrate that I have LIVED in Brazil!