The Art of Coming Home

I've been home for 2 weeks now.  It seems like much longer than that!  There have already been different stages that I've gone through in my return:
Stage 1:  Wonderment
As I got off the airplane, I was amazed at the American-ness of everything.  It was a shock to be able to understand and be understood.  (No more horribly broken Portuguese!  I'll miss it, I think)  In the first couple of days back, I marveled at the conveniences that America has built into its fast-paced, super-sized lifestyle.  I realized how different my life really was in the last 5 months; at least in the little things. 
Stage 2: Homesick Ointment
Hugging.  In abundance.  It was so good to hug my mom, to get a backrub from my dad, tease and get teased by my brother (the only one who can affectionately call me "Shorty") and to snuggle with my sister before sleeping in my own bed.  Home cooked meals, cereal, and lattes were indulgently consumed!  Home is so good for the soul, and as the saying goes, there's no place like it!
Stage 3: Hometown Tourist
After 5 months in a different country, you get accustomed to having an outsider's observant eye.  When I got back, I felt like I saw Iowa with a fresh perspective-- almost as if I was a tourist.  I had a new appreciation for the quaint Iowa farm houses, the sparkling winterwonderland, and the quiet beauty that I call home.  Iowa is a lovely place to grow up-- and even though there were few Brazilians who could point out where it is on the map-- I may have convinced a couple of people that they really should come and visit the "heartland" someday!  Even with the 80 degree temperature drop, I am appreciating the place that I find myself right now.
Stage 4:  Broken Record
Now that I've returned, I have similar sounding conversations several times a day.

So, how was Brazil?
Good!  It was an amazing experience.
Cool!  I'll bet it was warmer there.
Yes, it was about 89 degrees when I left.
Wow!  So, why did you come back?

Like good (and predictable) Iowans, the most common question I get is about the weather.  It can be difficult and somewhat overwhelming to try and sum up an experience like Brazil in the context of a small talk conversation.  There are so many things that went into everything that the last 5 months was for me, that I haven't begun to process.  And I never know how much to share.  I've learned that there are few people that ACTUALLY want to know about all the different layers of a travelling experience.  Most people want a reader's digest version-- satisfied with a couple highlights and a weather report.  I knew this would be the case, so I let others lead the conversation.  (I've always had a hard time opening up to people that are only half listening)
There is still so much that I want to process, but I'm not sure how to.  It's something I don't want to force, but I feel that there is so much that still needs to be pondered. 

Stage 5:  Treading Water
There's been a momentum leading me down a somewhat laid-out plan for my life up to this point.  Always a clear next step.  Until now.  I'm back.  And now, what?  Phrases like "real world", "beginning my career" and "graduate" seem unreal and foreign on my tongue.  Yet, this is where I find myself.  Graduating in December gives me a certain amount of time to figure out where I want to go next.  I've had a couple of moments of feeling like Wiley Coyote when he realizes there's no cliff beneath him.  What am I going to do?  Where will I live?  Who will I be with?  When will I know?  There's a certain loneliness that is surfacing that I was anticipating as I got back; caused by multiple factors.  I've been trying to wake up each day and choose to be content with where I am.  Not to focus on what I'm going to be with my life (macro)  but to focus on what I'm called to that day.  Each day, this gets a little harder-- and yet I'm hopeful.  I knew it would be challenging, and the process of readjusting to a new season will take time. 
In a way, it's a very exciting time.  I feel a bit like I'm reinventing my life-- this season is an "incubation period" for forming who I want to be. (Does that make sense?)  Lots of grace, many deep breaths, and an occasional bubble bath are all needed to get through this season of waiting.

Breathing in the Brazilian Air

My good friend Marsha told me before I left for Brazil that this season was going to be one of freedom and release-- that I would come here and just breathe in the Brazilian air, so I could come back and share that with my loved ones here. 
In these last two weeks, I have been trying to do just that.  After finishing up with student teaching, we (Crystal, Jana, Natalia, and I) packed up our backpacks and headed on another Brazilian adventure.  This time we went to the northeast, to the state of Bahia.  I almost can't even adequately describe the depth and breadth of the beauty I beheld.  It left my heart feeling so full that I almost felt anxious-- like I had to strain to take it all in.  But then I remembered Marsha's advice.  I came back to the moment and took deep breaths of the warm Brazilian air.
Our first couple of days were spent in Chapada Diamontina (google it--- the pictures do a better job of describing the beauty than I can).  After a long day of traveling, a long winding dusty path led us to a remote pousada in the middle of... the most beautiful nature I have ever witnessed.  Imagine the Grand Canyon, with giant plateaus all around, covered in lush greenery and exotic plants that look like they're out of a Dr. Seuss book.  We spent three days hiking along these trails, each day very different and yet unspeakably beautiful.  Wide ravines with butterflies soaring throughout.  Swimming at the base of a remote mountain waterfall.  Watching the sunset on the top of a plateau with a 360 view of the Chapada.  It was so refreshing to my spirit to be out in this untouched wilderness.  (I can't wait to share my pictures with you!)
After that, we returned to Salvador, a coastal city with lots of beautiful old buildings.  We toured the city with some friends that we made at the bus station-- Ryan from L.A. and Dan from Australia.  Natalia and Crystal had to part ways shortly after, and Jana and I continued our vacation on the beaches near Salvador!  (We decided this was our "commencement ceremony"!!!!  Congratulations on graduating!  Let's swim in the ocean and lay on the beach!!)  We went to several beaches, and even spent a couple days on this quaint island called Morro de Sao Paulo (By the way, I think I want to repeat this vacation for my honeymoon!  It was that perfect!) The beaches were gorgeous, the weather was perfect, and the people we met along the way were very memorable.  As we were navagating through this state with very limited knowledge of the place or the language, we were continually blessed by goodhearted strangers who lent a hand when we needed it. I continue to be blessed and amazed by the generous hearted people of Brazil and their hospitality! 
I have officially hit the **Transition Stage**.  Getting back to Brasilia, I definitely felt mixed emotions.  Part of me is very much ready to come home-- to see all my loved ones, to hug my mom and dad, cuddle with my sister, and play nintendo with my brother :) But on the other hand, I am realizing how much I'll miss all of this-- the amazing experiences I've had, the beautiful people I've met: the students, my friends, the grocery store workers...  I haven't been able to fully grasp what this experience has been, nor do I think I'm capable of doing so... I will be processing it in the months to come.  I need to have patience, give myself room to laugh, cry, grieve the season passing, and look forward to what is in store (which is a whole other ball of wax on my "To think about" list!!! But that's another story for another blog). 
For now, I'll keep picking away at the packing that needs to happen, eat my daily acai, and joyously celebrate that I have LIVED in Brazil!

Brilliantly Blue Brazilian Skies

The other day, while running an errand in school I looked up at the brilliantly blue Brazilian sky and it seemed to be even more vibrant than normal, as if to say "Don't go Allie! Stay here in this beauty." In the back of my head, and ever creeping towards the front, I'm thinking about the inevitable end of this experience. I'm trying to intentionally dwell on the positives of the upcoming change. Right now I'm here, in Brazil, surrounded by wonderful people and a beautiful country. I want to embrace every moment that I have while I'm here. I am also getting excited to see family and loved ones in Iowa. I'm looking forward to the embraces, home-cooked meals, comforting evenings, and laughter that awaits me in December. The timing is perfect, because I'll be coming just in time for the peak Christmas celebrations! (Right now it's a bit unfathomable to think of snow and claymation TV specials, Christmas Lights and Deck the Halls playing on the radio!)


Each day is chalk full of lesson planning, grading papers, hanging out with roommates, adventures around the city, and experiencing the culture. I apologize for not keeping you up to date on all the adventures, but here are some highlights since I last wrote:

-Dancing to live music at "Gates Pub" with my roommates

-Going to a small group prayer meeting from a Vineyard church with my friend Leda

-A weekend trip to the nearby colonial city of Pirenopolis with sweet friend Mariana, Natalia and Jana. We shopped and explored the quaint cobble-stoned city, hiked to some amazing waterfalls, and enjoyed the hospitality of Mariana's aunt and uncle as we stayed in their cabin

-Taking full control of the fifth grade classroom-- becoming more familiar and confident with the rhythm and art that is teaching. I especially enjoyed teaching a poetry unit and leading literature circle discussions.

-A mustache-themed good-bye celebration with friends from school-- (that's right, everyone was required to wear a mustache!!)



Each day here remains an adventure- full of self-discovery and experiencing the rich culture that is Brasilia! We have a short week before the Thanksgiving Break. This means a couple of exciting things! 1) I only have 3 days left of working at EAB, student teaching, and ultimately college! I'll be done with my college education in 3 days!!!! 2) We will be travelling to Northern Brazil for the break-- to the beaches of Salvador and a hiking trek in the picturesque Chapada Diamontina. Because Jana and I will be done with our student teaching, we will be spending a couple extra days in Salvador for some relaxation, reflection, and soaking up the Brazilian sun. 3) My time here is coming to an end!!!!

Oh Rio!

The salty sea air was on my lips. The wind whipped my hair. Dark grey clouds covered the blunt mountains in the horizon. As my feet were planted firmly in the sand, I stretched out my arms and embraced the moment, and once again marveled at my life. I’m in Rio de Janeiro for the weekend.




It was a fun, adventurous, whirlwind of a weekend. A couple things stick out that I wanted to share with you:

The ocean was magnificent. The waves were more powerful than I had ever experienced. We couldn’t go past knee deep without being literally swept off our feet! It was awesome seeing the surfers catch huge waves! Unfortunately it was stormy for most of the weekend, but my heart just loved being near the ocean. There is this unspoken piece of my soul that feels satisfied only when I am near the sound of crashing waves and staring into the expanse that is the ocean.



Also, I stayed in my first hostel. It was a quaint house, complete with brightly colored walls, a spiral staircase, mismatched dishes, and rooms full of free spirits from all over the world. We got to chill out with people from England, Germany, Argentina, Australia, and Sweden. There was definitely a contagious desire to travel and experience the world. I love the mentality of young people from European cultures-- They were out to explore and discover the world—vagabonds and good people. I really enjoyed hearing their stories and spending time with them.



We went sightseeing on Tuesday and saw many beautiful parts of Rio—the famous Christ the Redeemer statue, a birds eye view of the city (including the football stadium where the world cup will be) and these famous stairs with colorful tiles from all around the world (and, of course, the artist was just chillin’ on his masterpiece stairs, about half way up—although at first I thought he was a homeless man). We also learned about the favelas that surround the city. One sad reality of Brazil is the extreme difference between the wealth and poverty juxtaposed everywhere. Huge colonies of these shanty towns line the mountain, while across the street, fancy gated communities and restaurants exist.



I was sad to leave Rio. I hope to go back someday—and hopefully I’ll pick a sunnier weekend! Now I’m back in structured, central Brasilia. It’s funny how it felt like home when we got back. What’s even more strange is the reality of how limited my time here really is! I am torn, because I’m anticipating how much I’m going to miss this already! I’m really trying to remain fully present. I’m here now, and I’m meant to be here. Soon enough, I will be home, and that is exactly as it should be.



Well, sadly, it is way past my bedtime, and I still have a children’s novel to read. I’d better get started on that. Oh, the life of a student teacher in Brazil!

Yesterday, my roommates and I walked to an art exhibit in this museum that was shaped like like a planet.  The art exhibit was beautiful- it had work from Joan Miro-- a famous artist, according to Jana.  Standing in front of these beautiful pieces, I was reminded how much my soul needs to drink in beauty in regular doses.  Poetry, nature, art, laughter.  This should be in my diet like fruits and vegetables.

Another thing that feeds my soul is creating art.  But when I'm at art exhibits, I always ask the same question.  What is it about this artist, this piece of work that makes it worthy of hanging here in this art exhibit?  Is there some undefinable quality that this artist has that makes it "good"?  Do I have possess this "goodness factor" as an artist?  Is that a question I should even ask? 

Maybe no one should doubt their own art.  The students that Jana had in elementary art created beautiful pieces of art-- and I think it was because it wasn't self-edited.  There was no self-doubt-- just unfettered creation coming from the soul. 

It can be so easy to get "too busy" to create.  But again, I think it should be a necessity in my life.

I realized the other day that I am living a much more simple lifestlyle here-- and much more environmentally friendly.  I walk everywhere, we air dry our clothes, don't have an air conditioner, and we eat mostly fresh food bought at locally owned stores.  We live like this because that's what we have to do, but it's nice.  It's nice to not have a cell phone or a car for awhile.  To live in a small apartment here in the middle of South America with some sweet friends.  Life is good. 

Later today, we are going to go hunting for fruit around the city-- hopefully the mangoes have had some more time to ripen.  Then there's an international film festival close by that we might check out tonight.  I hope all is well in Iowa.  Soak up the autumn-ness for me! 

Muito Bom!

Another beautiful night here in Brazil.  It's so strange to think that back in Iowa, the days are getting shorter, the air is crisper, and the trees are shedding their leaves.  Here, the spring has sprung.  With the rainy season starting a couple of weeks ago, things are turning green.  The mango trees are starting to produce some promising surprises (I can honestly say I've never been able to pick fruit from mango trees on my way home from school before).  The only downside to this season is the frequent downpours (often right at the time that school gets out- the sky opens up) and the heat.  But I really can't complain! 
My parents came two weekends ago, which was such a fun time!  They came Friday morning and we spent the long weekend seeing the sights of the city, enjoying delicious food, and just being together.  We rented a car, which was an adventure.  Mom and Dad quickly found out that everything is an adventure in Brazil!  But getting lost just became a part of the adventure.  As the only one of the group who knew any Portuguese, I had lots of opportunities to attempt the language.  It was good because I think I grew a lot in the language!  I'm really developing a passion to learn the language!  I really loved that they got to see where I'm living- and meet the people I'm sharing life with here.  It meant so much to have a refreshing weekend together with them-- to have meaningful conversations, to laugh, and show them this place that I love.  It meant so much that they were willing to travel half way across the world to see me!
Right now my world is filled with portfolios!  We are doing student-led conferences tomorrow and on Friday.  This is a very neat way to do conferences, as the students really take ownership of their learning, but I'm telling you, it's a lot of work!  Our days are filled with trying to get their portfolios ready.  In the end, I think it will be rewarding, but Im looking forward to next week when we'll get back to the normal routine! 
Last week we had a neat opportunity.  The fifth graders go to a local orphanage every year to help celebrate Children's Day with the children there.  It was so touching to see these students (who are from very affluent families) interacting with the children there.  While they were hesitant at first, they quickly realized that there were far more similarities than differences.  They discovered that these kids liked the same things and needed the same things as them.  Soon they were laughing, playing soccer, holding hands, and enjoying each others' company.  I was struck at how much the orphans desired affection.  So many kids came up and wanted to be held, wanted to sit in my lap, to touch my hair, or just to be close to me.  While it was clear that they were hungry for love, they were still very joyful children.  It was heartbreaking and uplifting at the same time. 

The question is... am I smarter than a 5th grader?

This is my first week of my second placement.  I have said goodbye to first grade, with bittersweet feelings.  Now I am across the courtyard in fifth grade.  It is very different!
1.  They sit still!  They can sit quietly and read independantly for 20+ minutes.
2.  They (for the most part) follow directions the first time.
3.  No one has asked me to tie their shoes.
4.  I don't have to bend down as far to give hugs.
5.  I went from teaching short vowel sounds and defining what a community is to talking about exponents, how to structure a paragraph, and science inquiry methods! 
6.  The role of the teacher is very different-- it's much more of a facilitator and encouraging critical thinking rather than providing guidance and direct instruction.

I am excited for the higher level of content, especially with the literature-- my secret and somewhat nerdy love for young adult literature is now being put to good use!  I'm really looking forward to getting to know the kids more and having more meaningful conversations with them.  However, I am going to have to do my homework!  The content knowledge doesn't come as easily in this grade, and I'm going to have to study up!! 

Things outside of school are good.  I'm trying to stay healthy and try to stay centered and at peace, even though life is pretty busy.  I'm itching to get out of the city and experience some of the nature close by.  Part of the reason that people decided to locate the capitol where it is was that there are several waterfalls close to the city.  I haven't seen a waterfall yet, but I'm hoping to get out and do some hiking this weekend!

It hasn't rained here for 125 days now, so the environment has taken a hit.  The sky has looked threatening a couple of days, but still no rain.  I'm excited for the rainy season to begin, so that things will be green again!  I also am in the mood for a good thunderstorm!

I can't believe my time here is almost half done.  It feels like it has gone so quickly, and yet, it feels like the day I arrived is so distant!  I'm really excited for my parents to come next week!